And if you ask Bilbo? He’d say the BBC is too loud, too fond of cliffhangers, and that their contract for adaptation rights was “nastier than a troll’s purse.” But secretly, he’d listen to the radio play on a rainy evening in Bag End – just after turning the volume down.

The BBC’s first major adaptation of The Hobbit (1968) was a landmark. For many Britons, that radio play is the story. But purists (the “Bilbo” side) argue that the BBC took liberties. They added dialogue, changed pacing, and gave Thorin a Welsh accent. Bilbo—as the authorial voice—would grumble: “Confusticate these broadcasters! I never said that.”

The BBC, with its vast resources and institutional pride, loves grand, sweeping adaptations. Bilbo, however, represents the small scale. The BBC wants dramatic mountain shots and orc armies; Bilbo wants to quietly solve riddles in the dark. When the BBC attempted a more serious, adult-focused Hobbit serial (in the 2000s, which never fully materialized), fans cried: “You’re missing the point! It’s not Game of Thrones – it’s a children’s book about a hobbit who just wants his kettle back.”

At first glance, pitting a hobbit from J.R.R. Tolkien’s Shire against the British Broadcasting Corporation seems absurd. One is a gentle creature who loves tea, second breakfast, and his armchair; the other is a century-old media giant. But the rivalry is real, and it’s rooted in one thing: ownership of narrative.

There is no winner. The BBC gave us wonderful audio landscapes, beloved classic serials, and introduced millions to Middle-earth. Bilbo gave us the original firelight tales. The conflict is the same one every beloved book faces: the stillness of the page versus the noise of the broadcast.

In this “vs” scenario, the BBC represents institutional adaptation – committee decisions, budgets, compliance, and public service mandates. Bilbo represents the solitary author and the reader’s personal imagination. Every time the BBC adds a scene not in the book, Bilbo (via the reader) shouts: “That didn’t happen!” Every time the BBC stays faithful, Bilbo quietly nods, puffs his pipe, and admits: “Well, that’s not entirely wrong.”