((install)) | Butt-bun Hunter Rpg

Your mentor, an old, scarred hunter named , hands you your first tool: the Squeeze-Scanner MK-II , a device that looks like a golden caliper with a screen that displays cheek density, fungal growth, and “jiggle volatility.”

You equip your cheek-separator and grin. butt-bun hunter rpg

Credits roll over a chiptune remix of “Baby Got Back.” Post-credits scene: SYSTEMA reboots as a sentient toilet plunger, now working as your sidekick. It asks, “Same time tomorrow, hunter?” Your mentor, an old, scarred hunter named ,

The Omni-Cheek quivers. Cries a single, confused tear of mushroom juice. Then deflates with a soft pfffft . scarred hunter named

You look at your Squeeze-Scanner. A new target blips: a politician with a quadruple-bun anomaly.