“You, like, okay?” CAROL: “I have no memory of who I am. But I do know one thing.” [pause] “That ‘non-fat yogurt’ poster over there is lying.” The Twist on Her Powers Carol is absurdly, comically overpowered — but completely apathetic. She can punch through a warship, but only if it’s in her way to a food court pretzel stand.
(showing up with an eyepatch and a pager): “We need you to save Earth.” CAROL: “Does Earth have good Wi-Fi?” NICK FURY: “It’s 1995.” CAROL: “Then no.” The Villain Yon-Rogg , now a washed-up Kree influencer, tries to convince Carol to come back to Hala with a motivational poster and a PowerPoint titled “You Didn’t Build That Binary Power.” captain marvel parody
“I’m on break.” Tone: Deadpan absurdist action-comedy Target audience: People who love superhero movies but think Carol should have just stayed in space with her space cat and zero Flerkens given. “You, like, okay
She crash-lands through the roof of a (it’s the ‘90s, after all). A teenager hands her a rewinding machine. She stares at it like it’s a Kree weapon. (showing up with an eyepatch and a pager):
Here’s a humorous write-up for a , playing on her overwhelming power, amnesia-fueled origin, and deadpan personality. TITLE: Captain Mildly Annoyed Tagline: She’s the strongest hero in the universe. She’d just rather be anywhere else. Logline After crashing into a Cinnabon at the local mall, an amnesiac super-powered woman named Carol Dan-versus convinces herself she’s a retired assistant regional manager — until a shape-shifting Skrull in a knockoff Gucci tracksuit begs her to save a galaxy she doesn’t care about. Opening Scene (Parody Beat) [Explosions. Lasers. A Starforce spaceship spirals toward Earth.]