Hunter S. Thompson taught us that the only way to capture a deranged reality is to become a part of it. You do not report the fear and loathing; you inject it into your morning coffee. And Christmas 2022 was a prime specimen of national psychosis. The world was limping out of a three-year pandemic that had redefined “isolation.” The economy was a Rube Goldberg machine of inflation and interest rates. War raged in Ukraine, poisoning the energy grids of Europe. And yet, in the shopping malls of middle America, a grotesque pantomime was being performed: the desperate, sweaty insistence that everything was fine .
My own gonzo Christmas began, as all bad ideas do, with a promise to keep things “low-key.” Low-key, in the post-2020 lexicon, is a lie we tell ourselves to avoid admitting we’ve forgotten how to be joyful. By December 23rd, I was standing in a parking lot at 9 PM, the icy rain turning the asphalt into a mirror of my own haggard face. I was looking for a specific toy—a fluorescent, screaming dinosaur that my nephew would likely forget by New Year’s Eve. The store was out. The clerk, a teenager with the dead eyes of a combat medic, shrugged. “Amazon says Tuesday,” he mumbled. gonzo xmas 2022
The gonzo lesson of that Christmas is this: the consumerist hallucination is dead. It died in a Target parking lot in 2020 and we spent two years trying to resuscitate it. The joy of 2022 wasn't in the flawless execution of the tradition; it was in the glorious, spectacular failure of it. It was in the burnt cookies and the political argument that fizzled out because everyone was too tired to fight. It was in the acceptance that “ho ho ho” is often just a defense mechanism against the abyss. Hunter S
It wasn't just consumerism; it was frantic consumerism. People weren't buying the latest PlayStation or a weighted blanket for Aunt Carol; they were buying normalcy . They were throwing credit cards at a wall of supply-chain shortages, hoping something—anything—would stick. The shelves were empty of the specific brand of canned pumpkin, but overflowing with a terrifying anxiety that you could taste in the air, like burnt wiring. We were all trying to decorate a house that was actively on fire. And Christmas 2022 was a prime specimen of
But here is where the gonzo lens focuses sharply. Underneath the chaos, under the tired jokes and the indigestion, there was a raw, bleeding tenderness . Because 2022 was the year we stopped pretending we were invincible. My father, who had never cried in front of me, got quiet watching my toddler niece open a stuffed rabbit. He was thinking about the last two years he lost, the visits he couldn't make, the birthdays he watched through a screen. The pandemic had stripped away the buffer of routine, and what was left was just... us. Fragile, broke, exhausted, and desperately holding on.
And yet. In the wreckage of the perfect holiday, we found something real. We found the messy, unphotogenic, ugly-cry version of love. When the power flickered during dinner, plunging the dining room into darkness for ten seconds, nobody screamed. In the dark, my sister reached over and squeezed my hand. For a moment, the performance stopped. We were just people in the dark, grateful not to be alone.