Elena had been avoiding spoilers for weeks. She’d successfully dodged Reddit threads, muted keywords on Twitter, and even unfollowed her own cousin after he posted a blurry set photo. Now, with a bowl of popcorn and her cat Geralt (named appropriately), she finally typed into the search bar:
The cat purred. The answer had been eight all along. Season 3 of The Witcher has 8 episodes.
But the seed was planted. She already knew the truth—Henry Cavill was leaving, the spin-offs were multiplying like nekkers, and eight episodes suddenly felt like both too many and not enough.
She frowned. Eight? Season 2 had eight. Season 1 had eight. Why did it feel like she’d just ordered a large pizza and received a medium?
“Eight,” she whispered to her cat. “That’s like… one weekend, Geralt. Maybe two if I stretch it.”
Geralt meowed, unimpressed.
She sighed, took a bite of cold popcorn, and looked at her cat. “Well, Geralt. Fuck.”