Top Gear Middle Eastern Special -

The cars rebelled. Plastic trim melted. Glue seeped out of the windscreens. Hammond’s Golf began to smell like a burning toaster. The production crew, following in air-conditioned Land Cruisers, wore hazmat suits just to hand the boys water. The Rub' al Khali is a beautiful liar. It looks solid. It is not.

The defining moment of the special is, of course, the dune. Not a hill. A mountain of sand. Clarkson, in a fit of "power and arrogance," floored the BMW. He made it 200 meters. Then the sand swallowed the Bavarian beast whole. top gear middle eastern special

"We are going to die here," said Hammond, quietly. "Yes," replied May. "But at least the stereo in the Fiat still works." Leave it to Captain Slow to save the day. While Clarkson wanted to set the BMW on fire (a recurring theme), May produced a roll of carpet from the Fiat's minuscule boot. The cars rebelled

The Top Gear Middle Eastern Special is not a car review. It is a testament to the absurdity of friendship. You don't do this trip to prove a car is good. You do it to prove that, no matter how hot it gets, no matter how many times the BMW breaks down, there is nothing better than driving into the unknown with your two best idiots. Hammond’s Golf began to smell like a burning toaster

It worked. Sort of. After 45 minutes of pushing, sweating, and Clarkson threatening to sue the entire Arabian Peninsula, the cars popped free. The BMW had a cracked sump. The Golf had no reverse gear. The Fiat smelled of burnt clutch and regret. They found Ubar (sort of). They got sunburn in places the sun should never go. Clarkson wore a tea towel on his head. Hammond tried to race a camel (the camel won). May spent 20 minutes explaining the geological history of the sand dunes while the other two threw rocks at his head.

Clarkson’s BMW leather seats turned into a frying pan. Hammond discovered that the VW’s air conditioning was a hairdryer pointing at his face. May, in the Fiat, simply removed his shirt, revealing a torso so pale it reflected the sun back into space.