India’s Only Honest Newspaper Issue #4,209 | Price: ₹12 (Negotiable if you have a sad face) COVER STORY “IT’S THE ECONOMY, STUPID… BUT PLEASE DON’T ASK FOR DETAILS” By Gyanu the Intern (who is still waiting for his stipend from 2019)
In corporate India, “family” means “we will emotionally manipulate you for free overtime.” The moment you ask for a raise, you become the “black sheep.” Update your resume, beta. Real families don’t have HR departments. THE BACK PAGE: “SORRY, NEXT WEEK” Due to a “technical glitch” (the editor fell asleep watching a 4-hour geopolitical analysis on YouTube), we are re-running our most popular cartoon from 1998. jab comics
The spiritual meaning is “hypocrisy,” my son. It is the glue that holds all Indian marriages together. Buy her flowers. Then hide the phone in the freezer. India’s Only Honest Newspaper Issue #4,209 | Price:
My boss says we are a “family.” But this family fired my cousin for taking a sick day. — Orphan in Oragadam The spiritual meaning is “hypocrisy,” my son
When pressed for details on unemployment, the Minister smiled and said, “What is ‘unemployment’? I only know ‘unorganized entrepreneurial breaks’.” Meanwhile, a leaked report from inside the Finance Ministry revealed the new national slogan: “Gareebi Hatao… From the Dictionary.”
(Editor’s Note: See? Nothing changes. Jab is timeless. Now give us our ₹12.) We close when you stop laughing. So please, keep laughing.
“We have entered the ‘Amrit Kaal of Optimism’,” said the Finance Minister, adjusting his spectacles that definitely do not have Google Glass hidden inside. “All indicators are green, except for the ones that are red, which we have decided to ignore.”